Nivrasplace

So I decided to speak, as outlined below.  I initially decided to start a new blog nivrasplace.blogspot.com.  It was supposed to be Nivra's Place crossed with Nivra space.   A cool graphic with a limited apostrophe, and a displaced "l" could accompany it.  I decided to move it all here.  Why?  I guess I identified this blog with a more public well-known version of me, traceable back to my real identity.  It may be, it may not be.  I'm not sure.  What I am sure about is that it doesn't matter.  Truth, honesty, transparency.  Acceptance.  The release of shame.  I accept myself, my thoughts, personal and private as they are and will not hide them any longer.  That is what this represents.

It's a difficult decision, let me tell you.  The instinctual self-preservation of privacy and secrecy wars with me.  There is fear.  But I have found that the ability to recognize that fear and move past it frees me.  My ipod has an inscription from someone I love, "Hence courage comes first."  Courage is the ability to recognize fear and do things anyways.  Courage is the ability to follow through even though that fear continues to flutter and beat at you.  It's not just a first step.  I once cliff-jumped ~20 ft or so.  That was a first step.  I sat there, fear eating at me, and made the decision, and without thinking any more, stepped off and it was done.  Courage in life takes so much more.  The fear continues as you're engaging, as you are acting, and only dissipates once the act is 100% complete and the results have happened.