Community Darshan

I went to something called a Darshan on Tuesday.  It was an amazing experience.  There was a group of 8 people who each took turns sitting on a shrine of sorts. When you were on the shrine, your job was to engage each person and lock gazes with them for about 60 seconds or so, in turn.  That person was to then write down and remember what they saw in you, expressing it as "I am XXXX." So each person sat there, and spent a minute or so, looking at everyone else... and when you weren't sitting on there, you were watching, watching the person on the shrine locking gazes with someone else, and then with you... and then you experience the gaze, and write down your own thoughts.

The feedback, however, is self-referential.  It is expressed as "I am ...", not "You are ..."  Why? Because our perception of others is inevitably colored by our perception of ourselves... by our moods, feelings, philosophy, insecurity... What we think and judge in another person is different than what a third person would think and judge of that same person.  So in essence, our judgements and what we see in other people is as much or more a reflection of ourselves than of other people. And the exercise illuminates that.  People recite out what they saw and observed at the end, and the self-reflection is glaringly obvious. Yes, multiple people will say similar things about one person who sat on the shrine, but even more so, one person will have observations about many different people that all have a similar feel.

The feedback was not all positive.  You were supposed to write whatever you felt or saw about the person on the shrine, positive or negative.  In truth, the 8 people gathered there were all of a like-mindset - so most of the comments were positive.  Some people had 100% positive comments, and other people had mostly insightful, descriptive comments, but there were a handful of negative comments, and of those, most were less judgmental, and more descriptive/observational.

The practice can be done in a different manner, as well.  One participant said she had participated in a gathering where they spoke the feelings as they felt them, and directly to the other person, not in a self-referential manner.  She described the gathering as very raw and emotional.

People were inspired by me last night, which I find ... very difficult to comprehend and accept.  I have been mired in such an inconsequential self-image for so long that to think that people could meet me and be inspired by what I'm doing - my actions and talk - is incongruous with my world-frame.  I am a participant, and I am learning from others.  There is a shift there wherein I not only participate but also lead, where I not only learn but also teach.

I have had roles in the past where I have done both - I have taught in university classrooms - I have lead a guild.  But this was an interpersonal, social setting - and their words caught me entirely by surprise. I was honored.

My journey has been a very personal one.  It's one I never expected.  This juice feast - I'm on day 12 now - has been tulmultuous and cathartic... It's changed (I haven't written about this yet) into a treatment for my psoriasis into something much more than that.  It's become the beginning of a journey.  But it's a very personal journey, and it's my own.  I've known that with the insight and wisdom and experience I've gained even from just these past two weeks, I can help, advise, and influence others.  I just never expected that the influence would come without effort - that by simply talking to people, I could inspire them.  I am a deeply flawed person, still, and that I could walk into a room and tell them about my life and they would be touched is incongruous.