Intimacy Dream

We were in a huge lecture hall - and bidding... bidding on WoW gear.  There was the teacher up front, and he had two exceptional sub-rogue daggers.  He asked for bids.  I knew Christina, who was sitting on my right wanted it, and I bid for her.  She bid herself as well.   It soon became apparent that 8+ people wanted the daggers.  I also realized that many who weren't sub-rogues were bidding.  They random rolled the first dagger and a combat rogue picked it up.

I spoke up.  Since there was no cost to bidding, anyone could bid, so non sub-rogues were bidding.  I asked for a new bid from only sub-rogues.  Two of the same hands went up, including Christina's. Three more new hands went up. I realized then that it might not be an upgrade for those three people, so asked again for sub-rogues for whom the dagger was an upgrade.  All five hands stayed up.  There was momentary confusion.

I knew I continued to be out of place in speaking up, but had to try once more.  I asked for only sub rogues who had bid the first time.  Finally, it worked.  This screened out the non sub-rogues who bid initially, and the later sub-rogues who reacted late.  Only one person raised a hand.  It wasn't Christina.  Everyone in the audience was relieved the bidding had turned out well.  The audience started getting up and parting.

My anger surged and turned on her, asking why she didn't bid.  She didn't want it anymore.

"It was an enormous upgrade."

"No."

"Whatever," I told her, and stood up with her to walk out.  "I may be quitting anyways."

She reacted poorly, and sat back down in a seat. She started crying.

I asked her what happened, and she admitted that she didn't know what to do. She didn't want me to quit. She felt like I would be abandoning her.  I asked her about the other men in her life.  I don't remember her answer, but it seemed like she said she was noncommittal towards them. I held her in close, kissed her cheek and forehead and neck, holding her, shushing her.

The next thing I know we're in bed, both in a partial state of undress.  She sidles up against me, clinging to me, molding her body against me.  It is intimate, but we don't kiss, and only intend to sleep.  It is a very non-sexual intimacy, like roomates seeking each other for comfort, but this comfort was in the touch of flesh to flesh and bodies embracing each other.

Christina is one of a handful of college friends I haven't found in my recent surge to re-ignite old contacts.  She was never that close to me, but we did confide secrets to each other - about relationships and gaming.  It is fairly obvious whom she represents.  I thought, at first, it was S, but no, S would never have refused to bid like that.  It is K who would, and K is the source of all my relationship/intimacy problems recently.